Adobo (mid-) Nights

My 9-year old daughter woke up past midnight last night and declared that she was hungry.  She did not get to have her dinner because she fell asleep before nightfall and so I understood her gastric rumblings.  Off to the kitchen I went and whipped up a bowlful of adobo rice from the “take-two” batch I saved.  In a matter of minutes, the whole bowl was wiped clean as if a kitty licked it and my daughter sat contentedly by my side with a satisfied grin on her face.  You wonder how such a simple treat as adobo rice could bring such feelings contentment and satisfaction – not only for her but for me as well.  It was well worth having to bring out the pots and dishes even as I am about to knock off for the day and then not being able to sleep at all because it was too close to waking up time already.

Cooking for my family is such a privilege.  I’d like to think that all the love and care I put in every dish I prepare makes even the simplest of dishes truly special.  These special ingredients are what make my adobo rice better tasting than any other resto offerings anywhere.  The best thing about it, aside from not having to get dressed and go for a drive to get it, is that it is healthy.  It does not contain any of the unhealthy add-ons that resto cooks put in for an extra kick of flavor -- definitely none of those ingredients that cause your bodily functions to go haywire.

Healthy eating is something that we have tried to put to practice early on in our married life.  It is not easy to eat healthy when you lead a busy life – or so I thought.  During the years when I was still working, eating out was norm so that all the energy we have left could be spent playing and taking care of our baby when we got home.  And, while I prepared healthy stuff for my baby to eat like boiled and osterized meat and veggies and hand mashed pears or potatoes, my husband and I were eating restaurant food most of the time.  We ate really tasty food but we had no idea that instead of nourishing our body, we were harming it.  My daughter continued to eat healthy while we continued to eat the way we did for a couple of years until our bodies finally caught on and said “enough!”

In the past 10 years, my husband was diagnosed with hypertension and chronic kidney disease and I with thyroidism and gall bladder stones.  I had a laparoscopic cholecystectomy a couple of years back and my husband is continuously being treated to maintain his kidney function.  There is nothing else to point to other than genetics and poor diet as causes for these ailments.    Now, I understand why my mom tried really hard to feed us healthy food while we were growing up.  I remember how, even when we were already out of school and earning our own money, she would often reprimand us when we bought soda and chips for our “stash.”  Now a mother myself, I understand that I am not depriving my family of “enjoying” these unhealthy food when I limit them in our diet.  By striving to eat healthy, we are actually increasing our chances at longevity.  And so, while my daughter and I still go for occasional burger dates, we now take a more conscious effort to make sure that we are eating healthy food most of the time.  That basically means low fat, low sodium, and balanced amounts of carbohydrates and proteins.  It is with passion too that we invite our family and friends to join us in our campaign towards a healthier lifestyle.  Here’s to striving to live healthier and longer lives!  Adobo rice, anyone?  

Some tips for healthy eating:

Pasta Aglio Olio
(spaghetti with loads of garlic, basil,
olive oil, and a dash of chilli pepper flakes)

1.  Stay away from fatty, greasy, salty food – did you know that the regular fastfood burger patty contains about a thousand milligrams of sodium?  That’s already about half of the maximum sodium requirement on a normal diet.  Add all the grease both from the meat and from the cooking oil in the griddle and you have got a tasty treat that could clog your arteries and cause a coronary.  Home-cooked meals let you control the amount of fat and sodium in your diet.  If you can help it, skip that fastfood meal and take an hour to whip up a healthy meal for you and your family.  Oh, and keep the fish sauce and salt shaker off the dinner table please.

2.  Use herbs and spices – instead of using salt and other condiments, try using herbs and spices.  Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme are more than just herbs of song.  They can add a subtle layer of flavor to the food that you prepare.  Herb and spice rubbed chicken fillets pan-roasted with root vegetables is a much more palatable and healthier choice than deep-fried chicken coated in salty batter dripping in oil.

Fish Fillet in Lemon Caper Sauce

3.  Capitalize on natural flavors – you will be surprised at how the natural flavors of your food can be enough to make your dishes tasty without adding spoonfuls of salt and condiments.  Try cooking fish steaks on top of a bed of caramelized onions and bell peppers with a little canola or olive oil on a non-stick pan, add a dash of pepper and you have a quick heart-friendly tasty dish perfect for dinner.  A sprinkling of fresh lemon juice is also a great flavor enhancer both for chicken and fish dishes.

4.  Limit your intake of red meat – pork and beef are harder for the body to metabolize.  You might not notice it but there are layers of fat in between the grains of meat – notice that your meat shrinks and your pan fills up with oil when you fry your meat.  If you must have your meat, go for less fatty cuts, slivered and stir-fried with ample amounts of veggies.  Tossing together sukiyaki cut beef with snow peas, julienned carrots and cucumbers, broccoli florettes, and shitake mushrooms with oyster sauce only takes a few minutes to prepare.

Italianni's Herb Roasted Chicken
with garlic veggies and mashed potatoes

5.  Read the labels – you can get loads of information about the food that you buy from your grocery store by reading the labels.  Pay particular attention to the fat and sodium contents.  Also, look at the list of ingredients.  If it contains a long list of ingredients that sound more like a list of compounds from your chemistry book, put it back on the shelf and look for healthier options.  You can also try to look for healthier options in restaurant menus.  Going for grilled or roasted options is a good way to go.  We usually request the kitchen to hold off the salt when we go to restaurants that prepare food as ordered.  

The Trade-Off

I cook, I clean, I pick up after my husband and daughter, I drive my daughter to her after-school activities, I tutor my daughter, I write, I do so many other things.  No, I do not have an office with a view.  No, I do not have piles of Manila folders on my desk with papers waiting for my signature.  No, I do not scuttle from one long meeting to another.  Down plunges my “wow” factor meter as most people feign interest and ask with seeming embarrassment why I have not continued on to climb the corporate ladder.  I chose to devote my time and effort to my family.  It’s as simple as that.  Besides, what could be more important than family?

It was about six years ago when I made the decision to leave a promising marketing career in a multinational financial institution.  It was a difficult decision to make – but it was a decision that I knew was coming anytime soon after my daughter was born.  I was a workaholic.  I still am.  And, I think I always will be.  I always have to have my plate full.  Otherwise, I start feeling restless.  Those who know me would be nodding incessantly at this point.  It’s not healthy but, I guess I do feed off stress and activity.  So, although I have ceased to churn out business reports, pencil-push figures for the annual budget, and mark-off tasks in Gantt charts, no, I am never without anything to keep me busy.

To those who think being a full-time mom is a walk in the park, you have no idea what you are talking about.  I remember one time as I was driving home with my daughter, we were practicing for her “big school” interview.  I asked her the basic questions:  What’s your dad’s name?, What’s your mom’s name?, What do you want to be when you grow up?, etc., etc..  When I asked her “What does your mom do?”  She quickly quipped, “Oh, she drives for me, she cooks my food, she takes care of me, and then she goes to work.”  Translated, being a full-time mom means having a whole lot of tasks in your Gantt chart, all marked out without end.  Being a full-time mom is the toughest job in the entire world. But, it is also the most rewarding in so many facets. Those who take the "career" as seriously as we do would understand. Only those who do not give a care as to how their children and families turn out can make derogatory comments or scoff at it.

It would be hypocritical of me to say that I do not get affected by the implied association of  being “just” a full-time mom to being too lazy to hold a full-time job, to not being bright or capable enough to be considered for long-term employment, or to being wasteful of God-given skills and talents.  There are times when I do feel the slump.  Most of the time, a great big bear hug from my husband and daughter or a phone call from my sisters would bring me back out from my mental flagellation.  Come to think of it, I bet there are a lot of moms out there who wish they had more time to spend with their families instead of being stuck working for big bosses in the steely corporate jungle.  They work their butts off like there is no tomorrow in hopes of eventually earning fatter paychecks to bring home to their families.   

As devoted parents, our efforts should be focused on making sure that we provide our children with all the tools they need in order to be the best that they can be. These tools, if I may stress, are not limited to material things. In fact, the most important tools that can never be taken from them are those that are non-material. Our success will be judged not by spectators on the side-lines today but by our children later on in their lives when they weather life's challenges and come out with their persons intact, all because they were brought up properly.  Our performance appraisal as career moms will be done much, much later.  There is no raise that comes with a raving appraisal, nor is there a promotion in store.  But, I bet the feeling of contentment and pride that comes from a job well done as a career mom has no equal. 

I chose to forego the regular paycheck and the chance to be the top man in the corporate hierarchy in exchange for the financial juggling I have had to deal with as I make an effort to add to the family coffer.  Yes, I still manage to generate some income even outside employment. Aside from being a full-time career mom, I am also a freelance writer and an insurance and financial services professional.  Money does not come regularly but sometimes we do have a little more to spend for a special mommy and daughter day out – a whole afternoon at the mall checking out stores that daddy does not have the tolerance to endure, food-tripping on frozen yogurt, soft tacos and nachos, a cup of coffee and a slice of cake, and just clowning around while people-watching.       

No, I am not employed.  Yes, my family is my career.  Do I regret making the choice?  No, not at all.  Being a career mom is not glamorous or prestigious for most – not at the very least since you have to get down and dirty most of the time.  I do miss dressing up and being made-up all the time.  But, nothing beats the enjoyment of playing dress up with my daughter and fooling around with face paint.  I do miss having money at the end of the month to spend for doodads  --  but then again, sometimes there’s not much left for anything else other than the daily grande-sized after-lunch gourmet coffee, the sit-down dinners almost every night, and the Friday nights hang-out with the gang.  I definitely feel more contented being around for my family even if it is a 24-hour job with overtime.  I would not trade being a career mom back for any other career. 

Here are some of the trade-offs I have had to make by choosing to be a career mom:    

1.      Waking up at 5am to get dressed and ready for the office  >>  Waking up at 5am to help my daughter get ready for school and my husband for the office – after they’re out of the house, I get to spend a few minutes of alone time before I go and deal with the day’s schedule

2.      Enduring the 2-hour traffic to work  >>  Getting out of the house after the rush-hour traffic has eased

3.      Cracking my brains for projects that will benefit the company  >>  Cracking my brains for projects that will enhance our family life

4.      Restaurant dinners after late nights at the office  >>  Whipping up home-cooked dinner every night with my 9-year old daughter as my assistant chef 

5.      Friday booze night with office friends  >>  Mall dates with my daughter and cuddling in bed with hubby and daughter during sleep-in weekends

6.      Phoning care instructions to a relative when my daughter or husband is sick  >>  Dispensing tender loving care myself whether any one of them is ill or not

7.      Fussing over how to manage my task list to attend to important family matters while important projects are underway  >>  Being able to shove everything else aside temporarily to attend to whatever needs to be attended to for my family

8.      Hearing about my daughter’s day from someone else when I get home – sometimes the day after  >>  Being right smack in my daughter’s life and hearing about her day’s highlights first-hand

9.      Sleeping in the car on the drive home with my husband  >>  Sleeping in my husband’s arms after the day’s chores have been wrapped up

10.  A pat in the back from the bosses for a job well done  >>  A daily dose of a hug, a kiss, and “Mom!  You’re the best Mom ever!”