In these times of extreme vanity, it is so easy to get drowned in the eddy of societal prejudice and expectations. Fairer people get more attention than darker ones… the prettier college co-ed gets a toothier smile from the barrista at the coffee shop -- and probably extra whipped cream on her coffee too… the employee who is able to navigate his way through the web of office politics and manages to hide his personal problems gets a higher raise... the tall and handsome sales executive gets a huge chunk of company’s sales incentives because the lady clients find it hard to resist his charm… and the list of what we often call the “privileged class” goes on.
I speak of vanity not only from the physical point of view but also of the psycho-social point of view. Liposuctions, botox and obagi treatments, tummy tucks, diamond peels and other cosmetic treatments have become buzz words among the physically vain in the recent years. People suffering from anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns are getting younger and younger due to the stress of coping with everyday pressures of work, relationships and personal travails. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to hear students being stressed-out due to school work. Then there is the fear of being criticized or looked down upon, the desire to fit in and the need to find the seemingly elusive -- happiness. Generally, it is all about being accepted by society… it is all about being recognized as a worthy member of whatever group it is that we are part of.
For the financially blessed, vanity is a luxury they can enjoy. Going to the salon and the clinic to beautify their exterior selves are just part of their routine. Perhaps some consult regularly with psychiatrists (otherwise known as life coaches) to help them sort out their worries. Some even go on “healing” trips to sprawling nature spas nestled in luscious forests.
For those of us who do not have the means to enjoy these luxuries or for those who consider these luxuries excessive, how do we survive the “vanity attack”? There is hope for those simply looking at physical vanity what with the deluge of beauty products now flooding even the small drugstore around the corner – Green Papaya soap, anyone? No doubt there is also hope for those looking at vanity in the deeper sense – and it could maybe cost you… not a cent.
Whoever said “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is not mistaken. For true beauty goes beyond what is seen by the eyes. True beauty is what is seen through the eyes. True beauty is more what you are inside than what you are in the outside. True vanity is caring for who you are inside. True vanity is making sure you are truly beautiful inside and out.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and look through your eyes, try to see the beauty of your self. The inner self reflects who we really are as a person and the values we hold dearly and would never compromise. The inner self should be strong enough to withstand external pressure. How strong and resilient our inner self is will spell our success in fighting the “vanity attack.”
Caring for our inner self is our key to surviving the “vanity attack.” Take stock of your values and beliefs. Look at who you really are. Understand yourself. Find out what makes you truly happy. Accept yourself. When you know yourself inside-out and accept yourself as you are, you need not worry about what others think about you. You will naturally gravitate towards those who will accept you as you are.
Love yourself. How can others love you when you do not love yourself? With accepting who you are comes loving yourself come-what-may. Yes, no one is perfect but you can also love the imperfect, can’t you? Sometimes it is the tiny dent in the kitchen table that makes it an interesting piece… because it makes you remember the time when you accidentally dropped the beater while making brownies with your momma as a little girl. The dents and scratches caused by the blows of life are what makes us different from each other – what fun would it be if we were all the same? How we dealt, and will deal, with the blows of life were and will be influenced by who we are.
Being truly beautiful means accepting the un-beautiful part of yourself and recognizing that despite these faults you are still beautiful as a person. When you give value to yourself as a person, you also recognize the value you bring to other people. We all exist for a reason. Some may claim that they do not know exactly what it is that they are supposed to accomplish in this life. That is okay. For as long as they accept that they are in this life for a reason… that somehow they are of value in this world. Value yourself and what you do despite the dents and scratches.
When you accept, love and value yourself, you will not fall victim to people who are greatly critical of others. You will be able to look at yourself and ask “Is that criticism true?” If the answer is “no,” then you will be able to simply brush it off. If the answer is “yes,” then you will all too willingly accept the criticism and make the necessary adjustments. But you will not harbor ill-feelings towards others. You are confident about who you are and you do not need the baggage of bearing a grudge.
After all has been said and done, what is most important is that you are comfortable in your own skin. That is, you are able to relate to others unafraid of whether or not you will be acceptable to them. You know what you can and cannot do and would not do anything that would be harmful to you or to others. Go and get that one-day privilege pass at the nearest spa or sign-up for a yoga class if you wish. But do not forget to accept yourself, love yourself and value yourself first and foremost. Live in true beauty… embrace true vanity… and be happy.
I speak of vanity not only from the physical point of view but also of the psycho-social point of view. Liposuctions, botox and obagi treatments, tummy tucks, diamond peels and other cosmetic treatments have become buzz words among the physically vain in the recent years. People suffering from anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns are getting younger and younger due to the stress of coping with everyday pressures of work, relationships and personal travails. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to hear students being stressed-out due to school work. Then there is the fear of being criticized or looked down upon, the desire to fit in and the need to find the seemingly elusive -- happiness. Generally, it is all about being accepted by society… it is all about being recognized as a worthy member of whatever group it is that we are part of.
For the financially blessed, vanity is a luxury they can enjoy. Going to the salon and the clinic to beautify their exterior selves are just part of their routine. Perhaps some consult regularly with psychiatrists (otherwise known as life coaches) to help them sort out their worries. Some even go on “healing” trips to sprawling nature spas nestled in luscious forests.
For those of us who do not have the means to enjoy these luxuries or for those who consider these luxuries excessive, how do we survive the “vanity attack”? There is hope for those simply looking at physical vanity what with the deluge of beauty products now flooding even the small drugstore around the corner – Green Papaya soap, anyone? No doubt there is also hope for those looking at vanity in the deeper sense – and it could maybe cost you… not a cent.
Whoever said “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is not mistaken. For true beauty goes beyond what is seen by the eyes. True beauty is what is seen through the eyes. True beauty is more what you are inside than what you are in the outside. True vanity is caring for who you are inside. True vanity is making sure you are truly beautiful inside and out.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and look through your eyes, try to see the beauty of your self. The inner self reflects who we really are as a person and the values we hold dearly and would never compromise. The inner self should be strong enough to withstand external pressure. How strong and resilient our inner self is will spell our success in fighting the “vanity attack.”
Caring for our inner self is our key to surviving the “vanity attack.” Take stock of your values and beliefs. Look at who you really are. Understand yourself. Find out what makes you truly happy. Accept yourself. When you know yourself inside-out and accept yourself as you are, you need not worry about what others think about you. You will naturally gravitate towards those who will accept you as you are.
Love yourself. How can others love you when you do not love yourself? With accepting who you are comes loving yourself come-what-may. Yes, no one is perfect but you can also love the imperfect, can’t you? Sometimes it is the tiny dent in the kitchen table that makes it an interesting piece… because it makes you remember the time when you accidentally dropped the beater while making brownies with your momma as a little girl. The dents and scratches caused by the blows of life are what makes us different from each other – what fun would it be if we were all the same? How we dealt, and will deal, with the blows of life were and will be influenced by who we are.
Being truly beautiful means accepting the un-beautiful part of yourself and recognizing that despite these faults you are still beautiful as a person. When you give value to yourself as a person, you also recognize the value you bring to other people. We all exist for a reason. Some may claim that they do not know exactly what it is that they are supposed to accomplish in this life. That is okay. For as long as they accept that they are in this life for a reason… that somehow they are of value in this world. Value yourself and what you do despite the dents and scratches.
When you accept, love and value yourself, you will not fall victim to people who are greatly critical of others. You will be able to look at yourself and ask “Is that criticism true?” If the answer is “no,” then you will be able to simply brush it off. If the answer is “yes,” then you will all too willingly accept the criticism and make the necessary adjustments. But you will not harbor ill-feelings towards others. You are confident about who you are and you do not need the baggage of bearing a grudge.
After all has been said and done, what is most important is that you are comfortable in your own skin. That is, you are able to relate to others unafraid of whether or not you will be acceptable to them. You know what you can and cannot do and would not do anything that would be harmful to you or to others. Go and get that one-day privilege pass at the nearest spa or sign-up for a yoga class if you wish. But do not forget to accept yourself, love yourself and value yourself first and foremost. Live in true beauty… embrace true vanity… and be happy.
